Reflections on the Unexpected

By Tam Gilbert

“Fifteen months – that’s a nice long time!”

It’s flown by.

I’m now in my last week as Trainee Artistic Director and have been reflecting on my time at Extant, and can honestly say, it’s been eclectic! But rather than focusing on the artistic side of my time (No Dramas workshops, the labs and my artistic project) which I expected to get involved in, and have been reflecting on a lot internally, I’ve decided to concentrate on the unexpected.

My first fortnight saw me dive head-first into a sea of unknowns: I was on a two-round interview panel for the Trainee Creative Producer (TCP) – literally on my first day! I attended a board meeting, an NPO subgroup meeting and, to my delight, was asked to lead rehearsals (and subsequently perform in) for the Unseen performance at Portsmouth library. The pace of leadership was set and I remember being told early on by our Operations Director, Ian Abbott, that he wanted me to experience all aspects of Extant, not just the artistic side, but all that goes into the operational side of running a company.

I chaired my fair share of team meetings, co-facilitated two Enhance Coffee and Connect networking sessions and was interviewed twice by RNIB Radio (once about Extant’s involvement at Edinburgh in 2025 and once about my TAD role and creative practice). I attended multiple industry networking events and worked on two funding applications for No Dramas; identifying potential funders and partners and working on multi-round applications.

I enjoyed driving the recruitment campaign and interview process for our Thinker-in-Residence role, which included sourcing suitable advertising outlets, coming up with intriguing interview questions, sending the panel shortlisting, scoring and other interview information, as well as welcoming the candidates by ‘top and tailing’ the interviews and sending feedback to applicants. This all gave me a huge insight into the HR process and its complexities and was satisfying to be involved in.

An important part of the TAD role was training, which has supported my personal and professional growth as an artist and leader. Aside from my regular conversations with Dr Maria Oshodi, time was built in to undertake formal and informal training opportunities. The TAD role comes with access to an external mentor, and I was fortunate to spend fifteen sessions with my mentor, Nickie Miles-Wildin, an established disabled director, who has been influential in supporting me to develop my creative thinking.

I’ve attended training with other companies including Theatre 503, Clean Break and Geese Theatre and courses from the ITC and NCVO on Contracting Creative Teams, Finance and Strategy, the last of which was an unexpected highlight. Previously, whilst I knew I could think strategically on occasion, it wasn’t my favourite part of a job. However, this course gave me the tools and confidence both to enjoy running a successful workshop as part of our team’s Organisational R&D residency in Cornwall in September 2025, where I put into practice various exercises to support reshaping the company’s vision and challenge my conceptual thinking that would enable me to actively contribute to important conversations around Evolve.

Towards the end of my TADship I was invited to participate on Arts Council England’s Future Leaders Programme, facilitated by the First Ascent group, which was aimed at Deaf, Disabled and Neurodivergent individuals – many of whom were in management roles. The programme cemented much of my practical learning at Extant and has given me the theory to understand how I work and operate. Through learning about emergenetics and completing my profile, I have found that I am both a highly structural (35%) and social (46%) thinker; meaning that I am someone who is practical and enjoys guidelines and routine, whilst also being intuitive, relational and empathetic on the other – traits that seem to be contradictory for most of the group! I explored topics such as resilience and leadership vs management and through reading about different models and processes, I’m figuring out how I currently lead, and what qualities I might add to the mix to hone my management style.

I’d been aware of Extant since I first came into disability arts in the early 2000s, and to have worked with the company, first as a freelancer and now as part of their core team, has hit one of my career aspirations. The TAD2 role came at the perfect point in my career; giving me opportunities not only to get stuck into company life as an equal and valued member of the team but also allowing the flexibility and time to grow and develop as a rounded leader.

The training, operational development and practical involvement in activities have upped my game by several notches. When I commented to Maria recently that there can’t be many employers who would say an instant ‘Yes’ when asked for time, travel and accommodation to spend their working week growing as an individual, she replied that she wanted to replicate the 1990s. By enabling me to experience this kind of barrier-free practical learning, Extant has created a programme that has put its two Trainee Artistic Directors front and centre in knowledge-acquisition. We’ve been expected to work hard as part of a busy team, but also given the freedom to immerse ourselves in play. If the wider industry could adopt such forward-thinking schemes as this, surely there would be more opportunities for disabled leaders to emerge from the inaccessible shadows and shine?

So, what’s next? More consultancy in the immediate future and I’m starting development on a new creative R&D with Mayflower Studios as one of their PROPEL Associate Artists’ 2026-27 Programme. I’m sure I’ll find ways to keep my new-found strategic and operational muscles stretched!

Tam Gilbert, Extant Trainee Artistic Director, 2026